Last year, we announced the emergence of our custom fit condom superhero Cosmo, and later celebrated Foreskin Day. This year, worlds collide as Cosmo meets the Foreskin Justice League from Intact America. On Foreskin Day on April 4th – and every day after – we’re on a quest to make sure every penis has all the tools & information needed to experience out-of-this-world pleasure. Inspired by customer questions and feedback, we’re working hard to close the “Foreskin Gap” in sexual health knowledge.
From our blog last year featuring the lore of Cosmo’s origins: “Very little is known about Cosmo’s birth, but we’ve pieced together scattered astral records from the Dong Dimension to reveal the following truths. Cosmo was born fully formed, cast out of a massive solar flare and discovered in orbit around Erectara. He was cradled in a jumbo FitKit and scientists assume that this is what protected him from the immense heat of his home star. Cosmo uttered these now famous words upon being woken: In the cosmic tapestry, everyone will find their perfect fit…”
Let us transform you into the world of Cosmo…
It’s been nearly a year since we’ve heard from Cosmo, and so many voices have been crying out for their hero. He hasn’t been pursuing selfish pursuits, partying with friends from the Dong Dimension, or even just relaxing, no. Cosmo has been busy at work, honing his skills, expanding his penis knowledge. The work of a true hero never stops.
That’s why Cosmo has been working with Intact America to expand his powers. Their 3rd annual Foreskin Day celebration on April 4th of this year will spotlight the theme “Foreskin: The First Line of Defense.” This year’s online event emphasizes the foreskin’s crucial role as a natural protector, highlighting its immunological and defensive benefits. That’s why the Super Shielder and his sidekick the Elastic Enforcer are joining forces with Cosmo and ONE Condoms. Much like a superhero, the foreskin acts as a shield for the penis, safeguarding it from harmful bacteria and irritants. With its sensitive tissue, the foreskin also helps maintain sexual health and provides essential protection against infection and injury. Even the enlightened Cosmo was amazed to learn of the natural benefits of having a foreskin. He thought that perhaps the experts at Intact America ought to incorporate their knowledge into the cosmic tapestry. And so, he sequestered himself away in a hidden temple on Mt. Hood, to study the art of the Foreskin from the masters.
First, he studied the history of foreskin from the Foreskin Fairy.
Cosmo learned that the history of foreskins must be centered around foreskins themselves, and not the history of removing them. Naturally, he examined the bevy of statues and idols from Ancient Greece and Rome that displayed intact penises. They believed that a penis of sensible size with a long foreskin that extended over the glans was the ideal form of beauty. The Greeks even had a name for the portion of the foreskin that hung over the glans, the akroposthion. They believed that a longer foreskin was the sign of a more evolved person, “a reflection of a deeper ethos involving cultural identity, morality, propriety, virtue, beauty and health.” This ideal was so important to them that many took measures to prevent accidental exposure of their glans. In some cases, foreskins were deliberately lengthened, either intentionally or accidentally, through prolonged stretching. This was achieved using a kynodesme (literally meaning dog leash), a thin leather string that was wrapped around the foreskin and pulled the penis upward, then tied around the waist or secured in another way.
He might look like a himbo, but the Foreskin Fairy imparted upon Cosmo some wonderful truths: that ideals of beauty can change over time, that these changes are not always positive, and that studying history can help us to better understand the validity of modern societal expectations. Cosmo spent far too long on this part of his training, finding himself hypnotized by the decadence of the Ancient world. He learned the hard way that these ancient practices are ancient for a reason and highly recommends against doing as the Greeks did (don’t tie up your foreskin). With that lesson learned, he moved onto more exciting material – the art of Foreskin Pleasure by the Hooded Hero and the Tip Tamer.
The foreskin is a double-layered, retractable sheath of tissue with 30-50 square centimeters of surface area and countless nerve endings that increase pleasure and sensitivity. The first lesson imparted on Cosmo by the Hooded Hero was to “be gentle!” The increased sensitivity of an intact penis can be euphoric, but if your partner is not careful, it can be painful. All of the moving parts require a gentle touch. Oftentimes, a partner's first instinct is to retract the foreskin too much, causing stress on the frenulum. Every foreskin is different and some people are not even able to retract their foreskin at all due to a medical condition called phimosis, that's why communication is important. Some people want the foreskin fully retracted during sex, others prefer the back-and-forth gliding motion, and some prefer to keep it up. If you've never had a partner with a foreskin before, keep the extra sensitivity in mind, don't be afraid to explore and experiment, and have fun with the experience! Check out our blog from last year on foreskin pleasure for more tips, inspired by customer feedback.
Once Cosmo learned how to take a measured approach, he spent his time studying the natural glide of the foreskin. He was taught by Tip Tamer that “the majority of pleasure comes by gently retracting and returning the foreskin over the head of the penis.” Starting slowly and letting the penis function naturally as the partner gets more excited is the best approach. For a lot of people with foreskins, the penis will self-lubricate with pre-ejaculate when they’re excited. The added lubrication helps the foreskin glide easier and reduces friction, increasing pleasure, and producing more lubrication in a virtuous cycle. That’s why condom fit is extra important for intact penises. A condom that is too snug will constrict the natural glide of the foreskin and reduce pleasure. If a condom is too loose as well, it can get tangled up in the foreskin and cause discomfort or even lead to a breakage. If you struggle with regular condoms not fitting correctly, it’s time to fix your fit with our custom line of 52 sizes.
Cosmo could not believe that an entire world of pleasure had escaped him, that the mysterious foreskin could act as a forum for all varieties of worldly pleasure. He struggled the longest with his lessons on foreskin creativity. His field of expertise – condom fit, is a science. Foreskin pleasure is an art. When Cosmo heard the legend of the talking foreskin, he did not speak for three days. When he heard the legend of the rainbow foreskin…he locked himself away in his chambers for weeks.
But one can only learn so much from philosophical pursuits, Cosmo knew he had to get out there in the real world and speak to some foreskins with life experience. And so, he turned to Sam Shield.
The world is not a study in morality, at least according to Mr. Shield. He didn’t get his mansion, his fancy convertible, or his suave suit by sitting around all day and playing with himself. He got to work, he made deals, he spent hours in board meetings. And after a day of hard work, the best thing for him was a shower. All wonderful things require some level of care to stay that way and the foreskin is no different. Sam let Cosmo know the work he does every day to prevent irritation and discomfort. It’s important to use soap and water, preferably soap designed for sensitive skin or without overly harsh chemicals or added scents. Don’t force it either, let it retract naturally and clean beneath it. And when you’re done, make sure to dry it off to prevent excess moisture buildup! Cosmo already knew that hygiene was important no matter the size, state, or shape of the penis and so this was no surprise. He was certainly an expert in foreskin care, but he kept trying to convince Cosmo to invest in his foreskin-based cryptocurrency and so they had to part ways.
Cosmo had a lot to think about, and so he flew to Mars to meditate like Dr. Manhattan.
The entire Foreskin Justice League were privy to ancient knowledge that forced Cosmo to reevaluate everything he knew about penises and condom fit. Their guidance on foreskin sensitivity and pleasure, their knowledge of legendary foreskins, and their expertise on foreskin hygiene served only to enlighten the world’s favorite superhero.
Can he fly around the equator to turn back time and see a stretched Ancient Greek foreskin himself?
Is there other penis knowledge out there that eludes him?
Will he invest in Sam Shield’s cryptocurrency?
Only time will tell. For now, Cosmo will continue his work, dedicating his life to promoting proper condom fit across the universe.
